I’ve said this so many times it’s getting old, but some people just don’t seem to listen—and maybe, if I’m honest, I don’t always take my own advice either. Here it is: it really doesn’t matter what you said, how you said it, or what you intended. What matters, if you truly care about the other person, is how they felt.
It’s easy to get caught up in defending your intentions. We all want to believe that because we meant well, the other person should feel the way we wanted them to feel. But that’s not how life works. You can have the best intentions, say things in the most careful way, and still get it wrong. It’s a hard truth to swallow, but the reality is we need to learn from those moments. We can’t just dismiss someone’s feelings because we didn’t intend to hurt them or make them feel dismissed.
If we really care, we have to focus on what’s important—how they felt in that moment—and try to be better next time. It’s not about us. It’s about them.