Helping People Accept Change
I’ve recently had several conversations about change and resistance to change. Someone I greatly respect continued to say that certain people were resistant to change. I disagreed vehemently, saying they were BEGGING for change. So why were things not moving fast given these new demands? Turns out they really were “resistant to change” but it wasn’t what we typically think of when we hear that term. Or at least not for the entire group.
There are countless reasons why people fail to accept change and this impacts all parts of life. These barriers, or blocks, can show up in the workplace or in one’s personal life. They can harm your psyche and your career. The key is to identify why an individual is opposed to change since the refusal to change often has negative effects.
Change is all around us. Since change is inevitable, how do we accept it?
1. Conquer fear by embracing the unknown.
Dinner with my nieces at a sushi restaurant years ago had me thinking about one aspect of change reticence. Shortly after we sat down at our table and ordered, the sushi arrived. I travel a lot and eat food from all over the world. I’m also a foodie and even blogged a lot about favorite restaurants when I lived in Chicago and London. I will try almost anything once. So clearly I am comfortable with sushi. For my nieces, they were not as exposed by that age to a huge variety of foods. They were faced with what they consider unusual cuisine.
This leads to my first answer as to why people resist change: fear. The food made both of my nieces feel uncertain and afraid. It required them to try something different. Something potentially uncomfortable. What if it had a negative impact when they tried it?
My youngest niece started examining the food and even smelled it. She poked at the sushi as if she were a world-famous chef or food critic examining a meal. After a few moments, her older sister spoke up.
“If Uncle Adam likes this, I will try it,” she declared. She did. And while I don’t suspect she became a regular after that, she kind of liked it.
She conquered her fear by focusing on the fact that someone she trusted was not afraid. All that I had to do was make a show of enjoying my food. These kids were afraid of something unknown showing up in their world. With positive reinforcement and example, I was able to convince them (at least the older one) that sushi was nothing to fear.
When reluctance to change is rooted in fear, then the solution is to show people the opposite. The unknown is not always positive, but many times it can be beneficial to them! It doesn’t always have to be a negative, repulsive experience.
2. Eradicate ignorance by encouraging education.
People who are resistant to change are often unfamiliar with the type of material to which they are being exposed. It can differ from their educational background. Diversity, Equity and Inclusion is perhaps the best example of an area where this element of change reticence has impact. In some areas in the United States, the people who decide the curriculum might not touch on what they consider sensitive topics based upon their personal beliefs. When their students become adults and have been raised in such an environment, then they have no experience with diversity.
If all you’ve seen your entire life are green crayons, seeing a purple crayon at age 55 might just freak you out.
Whether they were sheltered by their parents, their community, or an educational system, it leaves them intellectually ignorant when it comes to diversity and inclusion issues. Before I get the negative reactions, let me add that this isn’t to say that this is the case for everyone from that background or that diverse communities don’t have their own prejudices and biases! Rather, this means that issues like discomfort with race or sexuality become an issue for many people for reasons other than hate. For some, they might see the outside world and retreat to a system that is more comfortable for them and doesn’t challenge their beliefs. Many others embrace differences and are enamored with them.
Regardless of where we originate, all humans have genes that wire them with intellectual curiosity. We can leverage this more. If we can get people excited about learning, then this element of change resistance diminishing. When confronted with something new and shown support for learning about it, the majority of people will be more open to changing their thinking patterns.
3. Inspire change by defeating apathy.
Some people really just don’t care. And that makes change even harder.
You know these people. They are often sarcastic, lethargic, and comfortable with the benefits they receive without changing. Even if they don’t include others in the workplace, or embrace new solutions or ideas, they tend to think it’s fine since they have been successful just the way they are. They get change. They even understand why it may be relevant to others, unlike those that are afraid of change or ignorant of the opportunity.
Many apathetic people use their sentiment as a crutch because at one point they did care or wanted changes. Their life experiences taught them change wouldn’t happen or that they had to fight with sticks because stronger weapons were not available. They develop shells and don’t engage. When faced with this “I don’t have time for change” crowd, it’s easy to become frustrated (and sarcastic in return). But alas, there is hope. This groups simply needs to have an opportunity to incorporate change into their lives and see results. You’ve got to make the dream seem real, the benefits tangible.
I used to joke that every important email needed a subject “You will make more money if you do this”. That was until all the hackers and spammers started using it!
4. Be aware of argumentative entertainment.
Lastly, there are people who aren’t like the apathetic types who resist change due to their own defense mechanisms or historic lethargy. In social settings, there are often those who simply enjoy criticizing. These people enjoy feeling powerful and find that shutting other people down makes them feel better about themselves. When introducing change or new ideas to a workplace or any setting, beware of those that detract from the meetings for attention or to otherwise derail it.
When it comes to the detractors who ruin positive and important messages about change, the key here is to not let them change you. They might be dedicated to rejecting ideas as some form of entertainment in what they consider a droll office meeting or other situation. When faced with that type of attitude, it’s important to nurture the people who are listening.
The odd benefit of dealing with a heckler or extremely disruptive person is that they will often lend support to your cause. If you’re giving a seminar on change and someone is completely obnoxious, people who would otherwise be on the fence about the content might change their minds. They are seeing someone willing to stand up for their beliefs and attempt to live these values, despite the criticism.
Change matters and it will never stop happening. Blanketing everyone that has an issue with change as “resistant” is oversimplified. Instead focus on what is the cause of the reticence. Understanding that might help you find a means to get them on board after all. There are no easy answers but change leaders must be able to preach to the choir and reach the apostates.
As always, I would love to hear what you think.
Be well. Lead on.
Adam
Adam L. Stanley
Connections Blog
Technology. Leadership. Food. Life.
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