Why Reflecting Negativity Backfires: Understanding the Mirror Effect in Conversations
Have you ever had one of those conversations where someone shares a negative perspective or complaint, and in an attempt to support them, you reflect their words back to show understanding—only to have them argue with you as if you originated the negativity? It’s a strange phenomenon, but it happens more often than you might think.
How understanding grows.
I encourage everyone reading this to consider who in your circle of trust has a perspective different from yours. Reach out to them and ask them to share their story. Ask questions that go beyond the surface, especially about topics that might seem difficult or unfamiliar. This isn’t about agreeing with everything but about expanding your understanding.
The privilege of being uncomfortable
It’s easy to remain ensconced in environments where our views are never challenged, and our way of life is never questioned. But growth, understanding, and inclusivity come from experiencing the unfamiliar, from recognizing and respecting the diversity of the world around us.
The memories remain. And the triggers exist.
People ask whether I still think about September 11th. The memories remain. And the triggers exist. And so occasionally I will write about it. I will always think of those who lost their lives simply because they went to work. I will always be grateful to those who lost their lives actively running toward the danger. And I thank God for pulling me through and helping guide my path that day and every day.
The answer is “It Depends”
I’m often asked by friends and mentees whether they should make a career change, or be “afraid” due to an organizational change or another major corporate event. Often frustrating to them, my answer is almost always “It depends.” The truth is the answer to that question is most often not a binary yes or no. […]
Black man working in American
As a black man in America, to get ahead you must learn to adapt to working with so many different people. Some will think you are angry. Some will think you are emotional. Some will find you arrogant while others will question your confidence. Some will say you are too aggressive and others will tell […]
My Personal Ten Commandments
Your life will change. Your job will change. Your circle of friends will evolve. But your core values and principles should be consistent. And while you may compromise on compensation, title, which restaurant to dine at or movie to see, there should be certain things about which you refuse to compromise. Here are my updated 10 Commandments.