One of the greatest aspects of my career, education, and life in general has been meeting people. I love meeting people and getting to know their stories, what makes them tick and how they handle life challenges. I have asked a few of them to share their stories as part of my Connections blog. I hope that by sharing their stories, you get to know a great leader but also perhaps see a bit of your story in theirs. Perhaps we can learn from each other in this manner.
Guest blog by Soulbalm
On the 56th Anniversary of Civil Rights in the U.S.
What will your lesson be?
On this day, July 2, 1964, former President L. B. Johnson signed a bill into law effectively and finally proclaiming that on paper all lives matter. It was called the Civil Rights Act of 1964. On paper this meant that segregation would end and millions of lives could enjoy mattering in ways they never imagined before: equality. Mattering equally. Then millions of lives set about ensuring that those lives that finally could legally matter stayed as miserable as possible, until as expected, some of those lives forgot that they actually did matter.
Others watched the display of amnesia (or blunt force head and mind and heart trauma, pick your phrase) and began to believe the LAW was what made them matter rather than the Creator, cited as giving ‘matterage’ when being born with inalienable rights. The one written back when those who finally in 1964 mattered according to law, didn’t matter at all (and later only mattered 3/5 of the time, so to speak).
Slave owners knew Black lives mattered, and they mattered so much that they laid down their lives to fight for the right to keep them from actually mattering to themselves, so they could solely matter for their bottom line. Four rebellious years and now aflag born of rebellion mattered more than the Black lives. Not because the lives didn’t matter, but because money and wealth and ill-gotten gain mattered more than those lives.
In two days the United States of America will be celebrating another birthday, waving a flag that all lives are supposed to make matter. We as a nation celebrate and reflect on the preamble of the Constitution that all lives used to be forced to memorize. Words that clearly didn’t include all lives, even if there the word “all” WAS used. Even today, the flag is still being used by some as a tool of exclusion. If you don’t believe me, maybe someone can explain in the comment section below.
And then the Awakening… When many finally noticed that the law was simply ON PAPER. PEOPLE, we write history as we live and breathe. Keep speaking life-giving words into the ones who only mattered when they mattered to the nation’s exports and wealth. But more than words of Life, give opportunities to make a living and build self-identity. Those who know who they are and where they’re from can contribute wealth untold.
This nation is now in its teenage years. It’s time to ride out the mood swings and become emotionally and mentally stable. We will no longer accept words signed into law to appease. The words and laws should matter.
What will your chapter or section say during this era? What questions will you leave for future students to discuss?
We are the start of the needed change in the world. The more we talk openly and honestly to each other the better off we will be and the more we will contribute to the greater solution.
So this is my ask to you:
Be Mindful. Not everyone is coming to work each day feeling as though it’s business as usual. We have colleagues impacted by COVID, impacted by protests in their communities, and colleagues emotionally or directly impacted by racial injustice.
Be Empathic and Authentic that as we “return to the office” and “create a new normal” that each of us needs to find an appropriate work-life balance to ensure our physical, emotional, and/or mental health is put first.
Be Diligent. Hold your peers and managers accountable and speak out against racism when you witness it. If comfortable, constructively share feedback directly with the individual. If needed, report any instances of racism, however big or small they may seem to you, to your HR leader. Speaking up is not meant to “punish”, but to provide learning opportunities for individuals that may benefit.
Be Engaged. Below are some ways to start:
Join an Employee Resource Group and become an active member and leader.
I share this for my fellow Christians out there that seem to be amongst the most vocal of the “All Lives Matter” crowd. Yes, all lives matter. If you are a true Christian, please join me in praying that this can one day become reality.
The Parable of the Lost Sheep (Luke 15:1-7 NIV)
15 Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. 2 But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”
3 Then Jesus told them this parable: 4 “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5 And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6 and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ 7 I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.
When Black lives are systemically devalued by police, corporations, and society in general, the reality is a portion of “All” is being shown as not important to the rest of “All”. Black Lives do not seem to matter to many, and therefore the cry of Black Lives Matter must serve as a reminder to everyone that for All Lives to Matter, BLACK LIVES MUST MATTER. Incidents like the deaths of George Floyd simply serve to stoke the anger and make the everyday reality for some become visible to most. The outrage justifiably focuses attention on Black lives.
Put simply, when All Lives Matter, there will be no need for a chant of Black Lives Matter.
Let me start by saying that how I feel does not matter to the family of George Floyd. They have lost a family member. For that, I can only begin to imagine how they feel and I extend my deepest sympathy. I only hope they find solace in knowing that people will be talking about their loved one for years to come. And that, perhaps, change will come from his horrific death.
I feel confused by the relative lack of reaction by the majority to the blatant murder of George Floyd when frankly his race should not even matter. All people should be repulsed by the nine minutes a vile, racist, pathetic former cop kneeled on Floyd’s neck, hands in his pocket like he was bored, not listening to repeated “I can’t breathe”. But heartened that MOST cops agree he was flagrantly wrong.
I feel annoyed by the surprise of so many that George Floyd was not the first unarmed black man suspected of a nonviolent offense to die at the hands of a law enforcement officer. If you need to research, start with these links (1, 2, 3, 4, 5 – there are many more!) Sad that once the hashtag no longer trends, people forget to say the names of those killed.
I feel angered that white mass shooters (not suspects) have been treated more humanely than black men who were suspected of selling cigarettes or passing a forged $20 bill.
I feel tired of the burden always being on me to reach out and educate and share my thoughts and feelings when what I really want is for people to do their research before turmoil. Thanks for offering to “listen”, but what exactly have you been doing the past 50 years?
I feel devastated that looters and thugs are diverting attention from the moral and just cause of the protests. And that people are conveniently forgetting that “riots” have often been the American way of getting to solutions (e.g, destroying British property by dumping their tea in to the Boston Harbor, throwing coins and sticks at police at Stonewall)
I feel saddened to think that the only reason the reaction was swift and strong was because someone videotaped what happened. But I encourage EVERYONE to learn the rules on taping. And follow Shaun King who has made it a mission to find the “bad apples”.
I feel sick of people telling me they are not racist. Bravo. Thank you. But that is not enough. I need you to be AGAINST racism. Yeah, I know you have black friends too. So what? You don’t see color. Bullshit. Speak out against racism.
I feel stressed taking the calls from fellow black professionals because their managers are not listening to them or engaging in discussion and they need an outlet because they worry that talking about race will get them labeled as “Angry” or not a team player.
I feel confused by all the people who say they don’t mind protest as long as it is peaceful. I remember Colin Kaepernick being blackballed by the league and impugned by the media. You were against Kaepernick taking a knee in peaceful and silent protest yet surprised by the anger when this former cop used his knee to kill a man.
I feel disheartened by the number of well-intentioned people in the majority who say they are tired of talking about this and other such incidents of “a few bad apples”. White people who are tired of being called racists. I wish I had the luxury to stop talking about racism.
I feel worried that the racist murderer will get a light sentence or none at all, as such is the history from previous killings. This is the painful reality that causes so many black people to feel hopeless.
I feel afraid that the combination of the disproportionate impacts of covid-19 on people of color, plus the ridiculous community and small business destruction this weekend of communities by anarchists, criminals, and white nationalists, will set African Americans back another half-century.
I feel hopeful that, while it may take decades, we will eventually emerge stronger and better.
I feel thankful that my faith and my family allow me to hold on to a hope that is elusive to so many people out there. And I remember that blessing when I see behavior that I neither endorse or encourage.
I understand (and I feel) the anger.
Just thought I would share it once. Thanks for asking.
Be well. Lead on.
Adam
Even if protesting, wear your face mask. #staysafe
Adam L. Stanley Connections Blog Technology. Leadership. Food. Life.
This might be an annoying blog for those of you out there, none of my friends of course, that are promoting “Straight Pride” during LGBTQ Pride Month here in the United States. More to come on that. For now, just one thing that is currently on my pet peeve list.
“It’s just hard to think about them together.”
Close your eyes. Try to remember the last conversation you had with a co-worker or a distant friend about their life. They probably talked about their family and if they are married they may even have discussed their spouse. Think about the details of the conversation and what you were thinking during the conversation. Pause. At any time during the conversation were you visualizing your friend and his or her spouse having sex?
My guess is that the vast, vast, vast, vast, vast majority of you said no to that question. And that is of course no surprise because you talk about people’s families and their vacations and all kinds of other details on a regular basis at work without thinking about the particulars of what they do in their bedroom. It is therefore surprising to me how often I hear the comment around it being difficult to have conversations with gay people about their families because it’s hard to picture two men together or two women together. What exactly are you trying to picture?
This month is Pride Month. Someone you know is gay. Someone you know is a lesbian. Someone you know might be questioning. And all of them are unique individuals with different dreams, different backgrounds, different perspectives. Just like you are different. Let’s make this a month to learn about each other.
Happy Pride!
Be well. Lead on.
Adam
Adam L. Stanley
Adam L. Stanley Connections Blog Technology. Leadership. Food. Life.
The piece below was written by my sister, whose writing name is Soulbalm but most people just call her Soul. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I want to share it with you. Have a blessed Thanksgiving where unconditional love prevails and drama is minimized.
Be well. Lead on.
Adam
Thanks
by Soulbalm
To those who have been my friend over decades and years
To those who have befriended me in the last several years or months or days
To those who have listened and supported
To those who have heard a word worth sharing
To those who have encouraged me to keep moving forward when I wanted to sit down
To those who keep pushing me to go beyond my last effort into my brighter tomorrow
To my family for showing me what love looks like and feels like
To my Creator for showing me what love sounds like, thinks like, and what it consists of
To those who criticize for giving me something to think about and reach towards
To those who hate for inspiring me to love even harder
To those who troll for giving me people to pray over who need it more than the ones who they troll the hardest
To this media source for allowing me to connect with friends all over the world
To my children for allowing me to understand why God hasn’t quit on us yet
To death for reminding me my days are numbered
To life for reminding me that my purpose is not yet fulfilled
To doubt for making me dig deeper
To hope for making me reach higher
To faith for making me recognize the seen as powerful but the unseen as limitless
To fear for stretching my faith
To LOVE who makes all things possible
