by Adam L Stanley | Sep 11, 2017 | Leadership, Life, Relationships
Between attending a conference in downtown NY and heading back to the airport, I decided to take a quick walk around. I realized it had actually been a while since I really walked around Ground Zero. Sure, I had been to see the memorial pools. But I had not really looked at the new tower. And certainly had not retraced my steps from that day.
So I did. I walked to the tower down John Street, the same way I had walked so many times before. When I worked for Deloitte, I often went to the 25 Broadway office in the mornings. I would leave there and walk to my client’s office, wherever that was at the time. In September 2001, my client was at One Seaport Plaza. Yesterday was my first visit back to that building in almost 15 years, and the first since wrapping up my project there.
I filmed the above selfie standing in front of One Seaport Plaza. It was harder than I expected.
Below are photos from my retracing of my steps. NY is as vibrant as ever and walking around you are struck by the dichotomy of everyday New York era walking around doing their thing with the tourists, many of whom seem to view the site of the terrorist attacks as a museum or monument to something that happened in the 1800s.
Deloitte at the time was in this office. I remember it being a new state of the art “dot com” office with bright colors and open spaces. The proximity to Wall Street and Battery Park made it a great place to work.
Charging Bull, which is sometimes referred to as the Wall Street Bull or the Bowling Green Bull, by Arturo Di Modica
Fifteen years later, throngs of tourists still line up to rub this guy’s head. And always rushing, New Yorkers laugh, point and sometimes frown as the gawkers wait for their turn to take the same photo millions have taken. Yet, we all get it. And many secretly harbor an inner pride of this thing that is part of the essence of “our city”, America’s city.
This iconic building is a mere shadow of what it was years ago with dozens of yellow jackets standing in front smoking and tourists snapping photo after photo. The increasingly electronic trading and massive security seem to make it less of an interest. Yet, the power that it represents has inspired hatred and protest through the years. To me, this building reminds me of a young boy named Adam who received a game called “Stock Market” as his prize for being the top seller in the 5th grade chocolate bar sale.
Federal Hall National Memorial, Wall Street, Manhattan, New York City
I’m guessing that at least half of the people that walk past this building every day and lots and lots of the tourists have no idea the significance of the building. If I’m totally honest, I will admit that I didn’t really know much about the history. And sadly the majority of what I know today comes from having just watched the musical Hamilton last week. Lol.
The building is actually a great reminder of the significance of this city to our country. This was the seat of the United States government back in the Hamilton days. The statue of George Washington in front serves as a reminder of both his significance to our founding as well as the significance of the city. For me, this brings back memories of walking from my client’s office to grab lunch at one of the many spots right around the Plaza.
George! Who would have thought that over two hundred years later we would have a black president and a black guy playing George Washington in one of the most successful musicals in modern history.
This was my view as I headed home every day. My home was at many times the Millenium Hilton and on September 11th it was the Embassy Suites. The Hilton was born the same side the tower as my office. The Embassy Suites required me to go through the tower everyday.
But it was this street, John Street, that was the focus of so many photos from that horrible day as people ran down the street to escape the Horrors of the attacks. The fact that the debris made it all the way down the street to my office is a shocking today as it was then.
I didn’t realize until yesterday that from the intersection of John Street and Broadway, the new Obelisk sculpture actually brings back memories of the towers collapsing. I do not believe that is the intent. However, the shape from this distance is very reminiscent of the plumes of debris that begin to rush down the street after each towers fell.
I cannot look at this Memorial, both of the pools, without having a very painful reaction. I become both sad and still a bit angry. And I still think that one day I will look through every single name and find someone that I never knew was in the building that day. A former classmate or colleague. At the same time, I find myself having very detached thoughts. For instance, the team that manages the memorial site places white roses on the names of individuals who perished, on their birthdays, as a tribute. I found myself surprised that only 4 people had birthdays the day I took this photo. Of circa 3000 souls who perished, only 4 of them shared this November birthday.
The new building is beautiful and majestic for sure. But it is still strange to see in this place. I still look up and remember the two tall white buildings that once stood where the pool is now run eternally.
Edit
I walked through this pedway hundreds of times, the start of my 20 minutes walk to my office. If connected the buildings of World Financial Center, where Deloitte also had offices, to the World Trade Center site. The Embassy Suites hotel was in this area, and my home for a while. I abandoned several shirts and suits in the hotel, as the smoke and debris damage to a building prohibited our return for several weeks. Eventually, we received a letter saying that we could return and retrieve items but it would be at our own risk. Neither the hotel or the insurance company would take responsibility for any health issues that arose. Needless to say, I took a pass and if there is anything positive that came out of the tragedy, it was a bit of a wardrobe refresh.
The day of the attacks, the South Tower lean towards the Millenium Hotel, almost menacingly. The fact that the hotel was not completely destroyed is actually quite amazing. It reopened almost two years after the tragedy. The significance of the hotel to me is that it had been my home for several weeks, including the week my dad came to visit me in August, 2001. My dad was perhaps the most nervous before he heard from me that day. He knew exactly how close I lodged and worked to WTC.
Before H&M became the go to spot for cheap, disposable clothing, I had Century 21. Socks, belts, t-shirts, oh my. Strangely, seeing this place again was perhaps most impact fully. It reminded me of just how normal that week started. How everyone started that Tuesday just as they had perhaps started the day prior. A quick trip to the store to grab something before heading to work. Or perhaps someone said to themselves, “I will stop by Century 21 on the way home.” But they never made it to the department store just across the street from WTC. They never made it home.
And that hits me hard.
Be well. Lead On.
Adam
Related Posts:
Related Posts:
Remembering 9/11 – 15 years later (2016)
Remembering 9/11/01 – My Morning in Lower Manhattan (2011)
Remembering the kindness of strangers – September 11 (2014)
Retracing My Steps (2017)
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by Adam L Stanley | Feb 21, 2017 | Leadership, Life, Relationships
“Too often, companies fail to cultivate relationships with key decision-makers until a crisis hits, at which point it’s too late. Know the cell phone numbers of such people so that you can call them on Sunday night in real time, not after the fact on Monday morning.”
— Jaap de Hoop Scheffer, Former Secretary-General, NATO
Make friends before you need them
I guess this is the easiest way I can say this: you either want a life connection or you don’t.
I wouldn’t say that I’m a “networker” per se, although some people observing me might think I am. Rather, I like to forge long-term connections with people around shared interests — and only some of the time is that standard business. Much more of the time, it’s food, wine, theater, technology, or other passions. Hopefully, you have read my blog on this topic: Aim for life connections instead of networking.
The thing that bothers me in any discussion about relationship-building or standard networking is that often, the lesson seems to be that you connect with people when you need them. I disagree. I don’t want to be called when you need me if you had no interest before that. You either want the life connection or you don’t. It’s not contextual to “I need something now.”
The executive recruiter who placed me in my current role is the same recruiter who placed me in my role at Aon several years ago. He periodically checked in on me and had set a recurring event on his calendar marking the anniversary of my Aon start date. Just over three years ago, he reached out to me on this anniversary and we arranged a breakfast. That breakfast led to the introduction to, and unlikely connection with, my current company. It came as a result of a life connection – a relationship – not because I was looking for a role.
I have other recruiters in my “network” who call and email aggressively when they are trying to fill a role, yet never reach out in between. And how many emails do I get from people who worked for me years ago saying something like “Hi, I know it has been years since we have spoken but I am now looking for a job. Can you help?”
Or how about those family members or friends who don’t reach out to you for years, then one day, ask for money or favors? It happens far too often. Thus, my rant.
Make friends before you need them.
People want to feel needed and loved all the time, and not simply when you want their help or need something. And by “people,” I would definitely include myself.
But how do you do this? Here are a few tips.
Always use social media cheats.
Facebook and LinkedIn remind you of special occasions and make it very easy to say happy birthday or congrats to peeps in your circle. Use them. This is a great, quick way to say hello and it keeps your name fresh in their minds. Use the “you might know” feature too. Every social platform has a variation of this. It turns out that your high school football teammate married someone who works at a company you admire. Reach out immediately. Don’t wait until you decide to pursue a job at that company. By that point, it’s too late.
Buy stamps and custom note cards and use them.
I bought each of my nieces and my nephew 36 thank you notes and urged them to use them throughout the year. That is less than one personal note each week but likely about 34 more than they sent last year. Email is easy and crowded. Online billing and electronic advertising have resulted in snail mail being predominantly political crap and charities. Take advantage of the gap and send a personal card. The average white collar professional gets 120+ emails per day; often it feels like more than that. Email gets lost. A card will not and will ultimately mean more than a few email lines or something on Facebook.
Pick up the phone instead of flipping your middle finger.
Commuting is not fun. More than half of Americans spend at least 40 minutes in their round-trip commute. Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman and his team found that people find as much happiness in commuting as they do in housework. That pretty much means that the commute stinks.
Do you have to drive everyday and often get stuck in traffic? Use that time for calls NOT related to work. Talking work AND dealing with stress, unless you REALLY like your job, will increase likelihood of road rage. Call someone funny that you haven’t heard from in years. Call the woman you heard started an amazing company this year. Call your allegedly best friend you have likely only touched via texts for at least a week. If you are on a train for your commute, commit to handwriting a note or sending an email to someone with whom you have not connected in 6 months.
Say yes more.
Saying yes to more opportunities opens up a world of new life connections, allowing you to expand your world beyond the immediate circle. While sometimes this may mean going beyond that with which you are normally comfortable, it will open you up to more people who you may be able to help and who may be able to help you. Plus, it helps you live a more optimal life.
Go to those reunions. Accept random coffee requests. Return the call of those headhunters and agree to exploratory interviews. Think about how many work events you go to because you feel you have to. Make at least a similar amount of time available for yoga, small venue concerts, and that pottery class you considered twenty years ago. Actually talk to the parents waiting with you when you pick up your kids from school or attend the soccer match.
Taking a risk and doing something different can be both liberating and empowering. If you normally hesitate when asked, for example, to volunteer for something, saying yes might lead to rewarding personal and professional results today and later on when you need help.
Maintain an events and occasions calendar.
This can be especially relevant if you change jobs frequently. Use Google or a private email server for this given birthdays are for life. Record special dates of coworkers, former coworkers or cool people you meet. Don’t be creepy, but sending a note that says “Hey. Just realized the annual blah Blah blah event is coming up. It was such a pleasure sitting at the table with you and Sally last year I thought I would reach out to see if you were attending this year. Want to join me again?” Simple and not creepy.
Call someone today.
When a job comes up or there’s a chance to start a new company or any other opportunity is “public,” it’s already too late. The core people are already known and in the system contextually. When you need help, or are in the midst of a crisis, it is so much harder to find help in the moment. If you want to be one of those core people for any opportunity, or to be able to connect with help in a crisis, you absolutely need to make friends before you need them.
Be well. Lead On.
Adam
Adam L. Stanley Connections Blog
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Related Posts:
Change while times are good
Aim for life connections instead of networking
by Adam L Stanley | Jan 16, 2017 | Life
Exploring the World
Continuing on my goal to work, vacation or live in at least 50 countries before I turn 50. As part of my planning process, I am scouring travel rags for inspiration. In this article, which collected votes from readers of International Business Travelers magazine what were their must see bucket destinations, I was reminded how blessed I have been to have visited 8 of the spots on the list. Wow!! I must never take that for granted. Coming from parents who worked hard to provide for us but could not afford to take us to places like this, I thank God for these experiences.
Seen: 19, 16, 15, 11, 10, 7, 6, 4
19 Sydney Opera House (Australia)
16 The Louvre (France) My absolute favorite visit to this amazing museum was with my mother in 2013. We decided that trip to completely act like tourist and not even try to make “the locals” like us. We visited The Louvre and went straight to Mona!
15 Venice Canals (Italy)
11 Taj Mahal (India)
Astoundingly beautiful as it is perplexing.
10 The Eiffel Tower (France)
I have yet to actually take the trek all the way up. The first time I visited, I could only afford the price of walking up to the first level.
7 The Sistine Chapel (Vatican City)
6 The Colosseum (Italy)
Personally, if you have to choose to visit the Colosseum or spend more time elsewhere in Italy, I would ditch this spot.
4 Pyramids of Giza (Egypt)
Everything about Egypt is old and amazing. Every rock I accidentally kicked made me think I was walking the same footsteps of the ancient Roman Empire. If you only have a couple of days to do Egypt, skip the Pyramids and go to Luxor where you can see the amazing temples and tombs.
Before 50 Targets: 20, 18, 13, 8, 2
20 Angkor Wat (Cambodia) This is non-negotiable. I must get to see this at some point in my life.
18 Easter Island (Chile)
This one is on the before 50 list based on this article only. I can think of a few places not on this bucket list that could knock Easter Island off of the short term target.
13 Galapagos Islands (Ecuador)
8 Bora Bora (French Polynesia) I may want to spend my 50th Birthday here, but would have to arrive before that date to make it count!
2 Machu Picchu (Peru)
After 50 Targets: 12, 9, 5, 3, 1
12 Stonehenge (UK)
9 Yellowstone National Park (USA)
5 Great Barrier Reef (Australia)
3 Grand Canyon (USA)
I can’t believe I have never visited this or other major USA destinations and historic parks and monuments. I think that there are places I have never been in the Northwest that might trump this, however. Ugh. Hate that word now.
1 The Great Wall of China (China)
To be honest, this is on again off again. I debate whether I am really interested in seeing this. Amazing as it may be, I am not quite as interested in exploring around the wall. But in trying to pick five from this list for my after 50, this made the cut.
Not really interested.:
17 Berlin Wall (Germany)
14 Mount Fuji (Japan)
What is interesting about this list is how little is on the African continent. The list was voted on by readers and so little is known about Africa, it is not surprising nothing outside if Egypt made the list. But Tanzania and Kenya should have been here for safaris. And I would like to visit Senegal and some of the slave route historical places.
Your thoughts? Any further recommended reading to help guide my selection?
Best,
Adam
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by Adam L Stanley | Dec 31, 2016 | Life
Good riddance 2016!
The last year that stunk as much as this year was 2010. That was the year my step-dad died. My work got really stressful for a few reasons I will not share here. There was a horrific earthquake in Haiti and a tragic disaster with the BP oil spill. My TV favorite actors from The Golden Girls, Different Strokes, Dynasty, and Designing Women died. I wasted two hours watching the astoundingly awful “Grown Ups” with Adam Sandler that I can never get back. And politics started getting really nasty in America.
Well, this year, lovely 2016, is going down in such a way as to make that year look like roses. Work was great albeit there were tons of challenges and complex problems. My family had a great year. We lost my aunt and had some health challenges but were able to celebrate a few weddings, births, and graduations and other fun events that made Family Life more joyful in 2016.
2016: Worst Year?
Outside of family and work life however, it was a true shitshow of a year. My idols started to drop: Prince, David Bowie, George Michael, Alan Thicke, Natalie Cole, Mohammed Ali… Professor Snape. Come on!! I recently looked at the list of famous people who called it quits this year. Shocking. Like they were desperate to leave before ….
Which brings me to that other big thing that happened this year…. The election. What a season. Great for Saturday Night Live, Alec Baldwin as The Donald was almost as funny as Tina Fey as Sarah Palin. With SEVENTEEN candidates, it was bound to produce ample material. Sadly, 2016 also became the year where it seems the country stopped laughing. Hatred. Mistrust. Anger. So much Negativity.
There were multiple mass murders in 2016. Including ones that truly hurt me more than I would have imagined. Considering myself in my younger days traveling for work and occasionally visiting nightclubs or bars in the cities in which I worked. And pondering what if an insane, conflicted, homicidal man had come to one of those clubs and killed almost fifty innocent people. (#Pulse) Picturing walking the streets of Paris and the Christmas markets I experienced in Hamburg as I remember with horror hearing about the Nice and Berlin truck murders.
Zika! Brexit! Syria! Brangelina! Police shootings! Police ambushes! Yes, 2016, you sucked.
And Chicago…. I. Just. Can’t. So many young children dying from senseless gang violence. High taxes and troubled schools. Politicians in and out of jail. And so many closed minds!
To be honest, I’m not actually wanting to say goodbye to 2016 as much as I’m saying good riddance. Good riddance to the hate and the nastiness. Good riddance to the racism on all sides. Good riddance to feeling forced to choose sides between two outrageously flawed individuals, between rich and poor, black and white, LGBT or “straight”, Muslim and Christian. And good riddance to the hatred that resulted in so many deaths of innocent people. Good riddance to the steady stream of news of my favorite TV and music stars passing.
2017. I welcome you with renewed focus on showing love and compassion. I anxiously await more phone calls to and from friends. I pray that peace will prevail SOMEWHERE. I am hopeful that the worst is behind us and the best is yet to come. And regardless of whether I’m proven right or massively wrong, I will still never compromise my values. I will choose love over hate. And I will live each day as if it’s my last. That’s what really matters.
As always, I will not write a New Years Resolution, though I do hope to shed a few pounds and get more sleep in 2017 (most would say that is more of a necessity than a resolutional goal). However, I will suggest that we try to work together to make 2017 more forgiving, more loving, and more joyful than 2016. And I could find no one better (with the exception of Jesus) to give us the words to live by as we move into the New Year than the woman who was canonized into sainthood this year, Mother Theresa.
I love you each, specially, for whatever role you play in our world. You BE you and do it as GOOD as you can. Your life matters.
Be well. Lead On.
Adam
Related Posts:
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2015>2016: My Personal Ten Commandments
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Is 2016 the worst year in history? Worse than 1919? 1836? 1348? via @slate
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by Adam L Stanley | Dec 8, 2016 | Life, Technology
Make your Uber driver feel good. He may not be making much money. And you’re really not “sharing” anything with him.
The ALS 5-Star Uber Service
Recently, I decided to do a little experiment.
Several people in my circles talk regularly about the sharing economy. I have read dozens and dozens of blogs on the model — and actually work with accelerators and incubators that are also very much focused on the topic.
Here’s the issue I’ve always seen, though: many of us experience the sharing economy as users, not as providers. If we’re not exposed to both sides of it, it’s hard to really understand what’s going on and how it’s going to impact business and growth (and yes, politics and society too) in the next decade and beyond. Most of my friends have stayed in an AirBNB, for example — but only 1 or 2 have rented their place out. Almost all my friends and colleagues have used an Uber, but none have driven one.
So, I decided to sign up. I wanted to see what it was like to be an Uber driver.
Signing up
The first step — signing up — is surprisingly easy. The process involves a background check which is done by a third party and the collection of several documents that verify that you are legally licensed to drive that vehicle. The process for me took approximately one week including the time to go to a local Jiffy Lube for relatively simple car inspection. Because of the vehicle I drive, I was also able to request the ability to drive as an Uber Select driver, which merits higher rates per mile and a different clientele. (You’ve probably ordered a Select once or twice.)
This was getting real now — I was signed up — and once stuff gets real for me project-wise, I go whole hog. The next step was preparing the car. I bought some mints and candies for the armrest, and I put magazines in the back that passengers could read. I set up in-vehicle Wi-Fi and provided chargers for Android and iPhone devices. I made a brochure about everything I was doing and stuck it in the back. I was aiming for five-star service every time out.
I got my mounting device for the dashboard, installed Waze, and started taking rides. I was now on the other side of the sharing economy. I had crossed the chasm.
So, what did I learn?
Basic economics
About half my rides were Uber Select; the other half were UberX (the most common). A large percentage of my UberX fares were surge, i.e. 1.1-2x the traditional fare via demand, but most Select were base fares.
It’s hard to make money. In one trip, I drove a passenger through traffic for 21 minutes and my take home was about $4 adjusted for income taxes. I cannot for the life of me figure out why someone would be a part-time UberX driver. I get the flexibility element — also heard of an Uber driver who has six kids once, and I get maybe using Uber as peace and quiet — but it’s not a true revenue generator in any real sense. My question is whether or not the average driver tracks mileage to and from pickups, uses the tax code to his full advantage to deduct expenses, and has a car where the cost of depreciation is lower than the benefits of Uber fares.
Uber has recently decided to allow drivers to accept tips in certain markets. As a reaction to lawsuits, the stipulation allows tips as long as they use as a separate transaction or via cash.
People are condescending
A lot of times, they don’t even realize it. You might be in this boat without realizing it. I constantly got questions about why I do Uber and/or how else I really make money. There were also dozens of comments implying “Oh, you’re smart for an uber driver” or act shocked that I was “a better conversationalist than I expect from an uber driver.” It was really amazing to see this in real-time, ride after ride.
Drunk people are awful
Some people really never do grow up after high school or college. When drunk people spilled into my car, it’s all crass and racism and ridiculous, no-context comments. No one puked in my car (I’ve seen stories about that from Uber drivers), but verbally, almost all the drunk people puked everywhere. Obnoxious at 20. Ridiculous at 40.
Uber has begun piloting means of protecting drivers from drunk passengers, or at least minimizing impact of the distraction. Drivers get a $200 cleaning fee when someone throws up in your car and several expert drivers have posted blogs with tips on avoiding the worst offenders and managing the other drunk passengers. The dilemma for Uber is that it touts its services as a drunk-driving solution to generate political juice. This is Uber’s pitch to Upstate New York. If too many of Uber’s part-time drivers begin refusing to service drunken passengers, this claim will lose effectiveness.(see article)
Spilling the Beans
Absolutely shocking how many secrets were revealed in conversations between passengers, including — not even kidding here — people working as consultants or investment bankers on confidential matters. I started thinking: if someone drives an Uber at a major U.S. airport and it takes about 30 minutes to get downtown in whatever city, how easy would it be for Uber drivers to basically do real insider trading off what they hear? Or simply to ruin a deal by tweeting or posting it on Facebook.
The ratings game
I nailed my five-star rating. During my 19 trips, 15 passengers gave me ratings and all of them scored me a 5. I believe Uber now requires ratings on every fare. When I did my experiment, this was not the case. After every fare, I would find myself anxiously awaiting my rating. I wonder whether my perfect score would be different had Uber required ratings when I drove. Perhaps the people who did not rate me were not as impressed with the quality of my service and would have rated me lower.
After about 20 fares, it does become increasingly easier to maintain that high rating. In the first 20 fares, it’s a little bit more a situation where every fare (and subsequent rating) makes a huge difference. As a passenger, I had just ok rides with 4.9 rated drivers that had taken hundreds of fares. But I also had amazing rides with newer drivers with 4.5 that had only 10-20 fares. One or two passengers in a bad mood can ruin a starting driver. New drivers are given some slack on their rating, but a rating below 4.6 puts you at risk of being deactivated.
Getting Lost
I don’t know Chicago as well as I thought. Certain neighborhoods were a total mystery to me — even sometimes 6-7 minutes from places I do business all the time. If I had turned off Waze, I’d be totally lost. That was surprising to me. This is a major differentiator for taxis. If you want to get good ratings, you need to really get to learn the streets of the city in which you live.
No Dates or Mates
It’s not really a networking tool. I heard people classify Uber as a networking tool often, but that’s not really true. I ultimately did 19 rides. No one hit on me — although maybe that’s my issue. No one encouraged me to hit on them. And I didn’t start any business partnerships or friendships, no. I thought about the term “sharing” within sharing economy a lot when I was doing this. Most of the passengers are basically paying less — and getting it faster — than they would with a traditional taxi. They’re not sharing anything. It’s an economic exchange at the micro level. (more on that here)
To Uber or not to Uber
I wouldn’t recommend Uber to people looking to make extra cash. I don’t actually feel the economics are there. There are a couple of situations where it could be advantageous, though. For example:
● If you have a nice leased car and you don’t drive more than the allowable mileage on a regular basis, it makes some sense.
● If you’re interested in human psychology or think it could benefit you professionally to understand people a little bit better — and you have the time — then it’s valuable.
● If you’re a person who would otherwise be sitting home downing Doritos and not interacting with other human beings, do it.
● Short-term need for cash for a trip? Definitely consider it.
● You’re just a curious person.
If you are going to drive, here are a few blogs with independant tips on optimizing your experience:
Now look: I did 19 rides. It’s not a huge sample size and I don’t portend to be any expert on being an Uber driver as a result. One Uber driver claims he is raking in $252,000 a year, largely by selling jewelry to his passengers as he drives. But to understand the sharing economy, you need to check out both sides of it. There are people legitimately making money and connections from being a driver, but there are pros and cons like ANY means of generating income. Also, it seems Uber’s long-term plan could be to phase out drivers — you’ve got their purchase of self-driving Otto trucks, and you’ve got their billionaire CEO alluding to it left and right. It’ll be interesting to see what happens when the sharing economy starts to get automated out as well.
For now, though, I would love to hear your perspective on the sharing economy. And if you get a chance, hit on your next Uber or Lyft driver. Might make ‘em feel better… Just saying.
Be well. Lead On.
Adam
Here is the full log of trips:
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Peer accountability is critical to success in teams
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by Adam L Stanley | Sep 11, 2016 | Life, Quotes and Inspiration, Relationships
Never Forget
September 11 – Fifteen Years Later
Adam Stanley – 2001
Many of you have read my stories from the Morning and Afternoon of the awful nightmare that was September 11, 2001. It took two years for me to be able to share my morning story broadly, and several more years to talk about the rest of the story.
I will never forget the tragedy. But I will also never forget the way we rallied together. On this 15th anniversary, I choose to remember it all. The horror and the light that emerged from the darkness.
I remember the friend of a friend of a friend who opened her house to me that night. The four strangers that shared a rental van with me so we could find a train or plane to wherever.
I remember the massive headache I had until I was finally out of the city, literally crossing the border into the city of Chicago in that Philadelphia procured rental van with four strangers. And sharing hugs with my partner, my family, and my friends in Chicago. The joy and love I felt when I was finally able to listen to my voicemails, check email, and see so many people that cared.
I remember the heartache on September 22, when I first returned to New York and tried to start working again. It’s hard to describe but feeling a mixture of relief you could just move on, sadness so many people would never return to their desks, and a bit of melancholy thinking of how little what you were doing actually meant in the grand scheme of things.
I remember the wretched sickness of the smell of burnt steel, and human decay. Walking back to the building so close to Ground Zero. Going up to the cafeteria where I first saw the tower burning and seeing a vast emptiness where once two great towers stood. To my office where the CFO and I had stood watching the events unfold, in anger and tears.
I remember the concerts, the signs, the flowers everywhere, the photos of missing loved ones. I cry thinking of the faces of those who did not know for sure for weeks. Some still do not have any remains to bury.
I remember the names. Oh God the names. That was, and remains, the most difficult part for me. It has been 15 years and I still cannot say for sure that I did not know someone else that perished that day. So many people died. Who amongst the long list was an ex-lover, a former coworker, a grade school friend? Who had sat next to me on the plane the previous day? Was one of the flight attendants someone that greeted me with a smile on one of my countless flights around the country? Someone I stood in line with at Barneys New York nearby, or one of the coffee trucks.
I remember the news. Constant, unending reminders of what happened. Pundits from all over the country, many of whom were nowhere near Ground Zero, pontificating about what happened. Troops being deployed by a Pentagon still mourning the loss of so many of their own. Stories of the heroes and photos of the perpetrators. I remember shutting it all out as much as I could.
I remember the different views of my friends and colleagues. Some of us walked through or were in the building when the tragedy started. Others were merely blocks away. Some worked in midtown but lived near the World Trade Center. Some were out of town when it happened. Others had never even been to New York but were fellow Americans. Many people had a story simply because wherever they were in the world, their hearts were horrified by what had happened.
It was hard for me to talk to anyone for a while after that day. My story was different than their story. And in many ways that made it hard to comfort each other. I could no more comfort someone who personally saw someone falling from one of the towers than I could be comforted by someone who only watched the horror on television. But there was hope and their was a spirit of resilience. There was a sense that we would overcome what happened and be stronger as a nation and as a people.
The media will lead you to believe we have lost all of that. That we have become more divided now than we were then. I do not believe that. I remain full of hope that we can rise above hatred, bigotry and all forms of evil. By the grace of God, we can be better and live better. We can love.
My Ask
My ask is simple. Do not use this 15th anniversary of that terrible day as a means to justify hatred, elect a political leader, or prove just how much more patriotic you are than the next person. Use it to show love. However you know how. “Never Forget” the lives that were lost. But also never forget those that were saved and those that saved. Never forget those who called you that day just to say hello and tell you they loved you. Never forget the renewed sense of optimism you had and the determination to rebuild and prove that we were not defeated. Never forget the people of many races, socioeconomic backgrounds, and religions that rallied together to help those in need.
Never forget that in a moment of pure terror, there was light somewhere near you.
Bring that light back. And the bad guys will never win.
Be well. Lead On.
Adam
Related Posts:
Remembering 9/11 – 15 years later (2016)
Remembering 9/11/01 – My Morning in Lower Manhattan (2011)
Remembering the kindness of strangers – September 11 (2014)
Retracing My Steps (2017)
Adam Stanley – 2016
Adam L. Stanley Connections Blog
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Use the “you might know” feature too. Every social platform has a variation of this. It turns out that your high school football teammate married someone who works at a company you admire. Reach out immediately. Don’t wait until you decide to pursue a job at that company. By that point, it’s too late.
About half my rides were Uber Select; the other half were UberX (the most common). A large percentage of my UberX fares were surge, i.e. 1.1-2x the traditional fare via demand, but most Select were base fares.
I nailed my five-star rating. During my 19 trips, 15 passengers gave me ratings and all of them scored me a 5. I believe Uber now requires ratings on every fare. When I did my experiment, this was not the case. After every fare, I would find myself anxiously awaiting my rating. I wonder whether my perfect score would be different had Uber required ratings when I drove. Perhaps the people who did not rate me were not as impressed with the quality of my service and would have rated me lower.
