by Adam L Stanley | Oct 14, 2011 | Life
Guest Blog
Connections Life Lessons: Future Leaders Share Their Stories
One of the greatest aspects of my career, education, and life in general has been meeting people. I love meeting people and getting to know their stories, what makes them tick and how they handle life challenges. I have met several young leaders over the years and I want to give voice to their stories. Thus, I have asked a few of them to share their stories as part of my Connections blog. I will not set a schedule but will share these when I receive them. I hope that by sharing their stories, you get to know a great young leader but also perhaps see a bit of your story in theirs. Perhaps we can learn from each other in this manner.
The first Story comes from Sunny Joshi. I met Sunny when he reached out to me at Aon. Interested in business and technology, he wanted to introduce himself to the CTO and offer any help he could provide with regard to our many ongoing initiatives. Over the months since that introduction, he has connected with me for lunch a few times, actively follows me on twitter and has connected with others in the network. I am excited about his future and honored to be a part of his present.
I hope you enjoy reading his story and encourage you to also follow this young leader as he charts his future toward success.
Be well! Lead On.
Adam
Adam L. Stanley
When Life Gives You Lemons
Guest Blog by Sunny K. Joshi
I think it’s safe to assume that many (if not all) of us, are who we are today because of the experiences we’re faced with in life, be they negative or positive. When life gives us lemons, we make a choice to become sour or make lemonade.
When life gives you lemons ...
I remember the time when I was young and got sick; my mom would force me to take medicine whether I liked it or not, because it was good for me. I’m now an adult and things haven’t changed much, except the context. When I’m faced with a challenging situation, I have to make a choice and act. Either I can throw a fit or I can do what’s required with the right attitude. Either way I’ll overcome that challenge, but it’s the attitude that dictates whether I’ll do it with a smile or a frown on my face. On occasion, we all regret the choices we make and want to turn back the clock, but that’s not possible. If not managed properly, these traits can continue to haunt us in our lives and as a result, we may miss great opportunities that may otherwise be presented to us. For those of us that achieve results with a smile on our face, we tend to look beyond the natural constraints and begin to have a buoyant outlook on life, regardless of the situation.
Developing this kind of attitude doesn’t come easy, especially if our surrounding environment holds us back. Nevertheless, this is something I personally continuously strive to enforce as I interact with my peers, colleagues, and family on a daily basis. I may even have come up with a simple formula to having a positive attitude.
​Positive Attitude = (Hope + Vision) x Influence
I like to think of my attitude as a sum of many years of hope and vision, multiplied by surrounding influences. I constantly take steps to ensure I am not losing track of my vision and constantly surround myself with people that support me. I believe that having the right support that motivates and encourages you at all times is the key to having a positive attitude, which then ultimately leads to success. I can have unlimited hope and vision, however if my surrounding environment is not influential or negative, I will fall short of my vision and ultimately lose hope.
Growing up, I came very close to losing that hope and taking a different path than the one I am on today. Had it not been for the positive influences in my life, I would have been another man.
About 15 years ago, my parents left everything they had in India and migrated to Chicago so that I could have a quality education. When I was ten, life threw a few curve balls at me. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I was separated from my parents a few days after landing in the U.S. and was forced to move to Canada with my relatives. My parents struggled holding jobs in Chicago, each working 16-20 hour shifts daily to make ends meet. After a few months of savings and getting their own apartment, my parents called me back and I brought 50 more pounds with me, just in time for school. They say when you’re worried, turning to food is the greatest comfort, and right they were. Talk about an awful time to gain weight ….
​A rough Junior High experience almost made me give up.
For those of you that have gone through the educational system in the United States, junior high is an extremely critical time. It will either make you or break you. Everyone is part of a clique or a special group. (Forgive my stereotyping, but imagine this from the perspective of an awkward youth…) You have your athletes, some of whom are “jocks” that are the arrogant types and tend to rank highest in popularity. Then there are the preps, the rich types who care less about what anyone thinks of them. And, alas, you have the nerds that have no fashion sense, are typically deemed unattractive, often have braces, and are notoriously teacher’s pets. You can look at the picture of me as a youngster and may just put me in one of the three categories. Hint: I remember not smiling in the picture so that I could hide my braces.
Young Sunny
My first day of junior high I was labeled as a “f.o.b†(fresh off the boat). How do you get such a prominent title you ask? Well for starters, you have to have a heavy accent in the English language. Each time I would say “Thank you†to someone, I would hear another kid yell the infamous quote from The Simpsons Quikee Mart character Apu, “Thank You Come Again!†Another requirement is that you have to eat and smell like curry 24/7 if you’re from India. I actually don’t blame the kids for calling me out on that because in all honesty, Indian cuisine does have strong smells that take some getting used to. In addition to being the new (maybe the only) “f.o.b†in my school, I was a nerd in the making. Even after attending classes for a couple of weeks, I somehow managed to have no sense of fashion. I wore dress pants with sneakers and had prescription glasses with maroon frames. I had also just gotten braces for my extreme overbite (picture Bugs Bunny).
Did I also mention I was overweight and had no friends? I had two people that I could call friends because they were in the same class with me and would try to engage in a conversation with me periodically. The computer became my best friend and I kept myself busy with piano and drawing lessons to avoid thinking about school. My home remained my only sanctuary, until a few students found my number from the student directory, called my house, and made racist comments. I remember one of them calling and saying, “Go back to India, Gandhi!†I was a victim of bullying, both physical and emotional. I’ll spare the details of the vulgarity I dealt with. I started to develop a sense of anger and rage towards those individuals but there was nothing I could do about it. Then there came a time where I almost gave up and was getting ready to go back to India.
​When I decided to make my lemonade…
My biggest turning point was when my mom told me that I should learn to face my problems rather than avoid them. At this very early age, I began to realize that prejudice is part of life. Rather than run from it, I should learn to accept it and move forward. I decided to be proud of who I was and make a difference being me rather than simply trying to fit in. Since then I’ve been making lemonade out of the lemons that life occasionally throws at me. Oh yeah, I’ve also taken care of my physique since then. Nevertheless, I can never forget my time in junior high because I constantly look back on those people that almost pushed me off the edge and thank them for ultimately making me believe in myself. Had it not been for the influence (negative and positive) and support I received early on, I can’t begin to imagine where I would be today.
​Spreading the Positive Attitude
What about you? Who has influenced you the most to have a positive attitude in life? Whether you’ve been a victim of bullying or have had a similar experience that pushed you to your limits, I hope the decision you made then is something you are proud of today. Life somehow manages to throw all of us a curve ball every now and then, so it’s best to be prepared and have the right attitude to take on anything life throws.
As I meet people that come from all walks of life, I try to give them the same support I received that made me who I am today. A common advice I give to everyone with whom I build relationships is never underestimate yourself. Your potential is more about what you believe in and not what others see in you. Having a positive attitude about life and your surroundings are a start.
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.†– Steve Jobs
Be proud of who you are, always be willing to accept criticism, and use it to emerge as a better individual.
Wishing you all the success in life,
Sunny
Sunny K. Joshi
Follow me on twitter @joshisunny
If you would like to guest blog as part of this series, please contact me via twitter, linked in, or by posting a comment on this blog. Thanks, Adam
by Adam L Stanley | Oct 11, 2011 | Life
We should all have one person who knows how to bless us despite the evidence, Grandmother was that person to me. ~Phyllis Theroux
I’m sitting in a small room in Metro South Hospital in the southwest suburbs of Chicago. My grandmother had a heart attack yesterday and has 90% blockage in her heart now. Because of her age, the quadruple bypass that would be needed to help is not an option. She just needs to be as comfortable as possible. And then we wait….
Amazingly, she is in great spirits and telling stories, lots of stories. Of angels protecting her. There are two of them, a boy and a girl, that she sees every night in her apartment. Of her husband, my grandfather who passed almost 25 years ago. She remembers the good and the bad, but mostly that they were “over the moon” in love. Of moving from Chicago to live in Seattle or somewhere else because she is tired of her apartment here. But she does not want to go anywhere she will not have friends. Almost 9 decades on this earth and she is thinking of moving?
“I loved their home. Everything smelled older, worn but safe; the food aroma had baked itself into the furniture.” ~Susan Strasberg
Little Me at Grandma's House
Grandma has always been there in our lives. As a child, she often babysat with me and my sister and spoiled us shamelessly. We loved visiting her because she was the BEST COOK EVER. While dinner at home was often chicken, veggies, and rice or something suitably healthy and balanced, my grandmother made fun foods. She made tacos, sloppy joes, pizza, and COOKIES. Oatmeal cookies, chocolate chip, and peanut butter cookies. She also made sweet potato pies, all kinds of cakes, and she had ice-cream. She always had ice-cream. Pretty much everything we had to have in moderation at home, we had a plenty at grandmas house.
Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~Welsh Proverb
The funny thing is, when she raised her 13 children, my mother being the fourth of the line, she did not allow them to eat any of these kind of things. When she made cookies, my mom tells me, grandma made her kids wait until the last cookie was done and the kitchen was clean before they could have a cookie. We licked grandma’s batter from the spoon and ate cookies as they came out of the oven. Nice and warm.
Young Grandma
What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies. ~Rudolph Giuliani
I think we truly learned this from both my grandmothers. Sitting in this room with my maternal grandmother, the last of my grandparents alive, I realize just how blessed I have been to have lived with each of them.
My dad’s mother always made me feel like I was the most special person in the world. She gave the best hugs, and taught me how to sing. She tried to teach me how to play the piano before my stubbornness won out.
My grandpa on my dad’s side was wise and stern. He taught me about values and making good, and Godly, decisions. He loved unconditionally but tough. No nonsense but lots of love. You knew he loved you.
Grandaddy, my mom’s dad, was the cool guy, smooth and calm. I never saw him get upset, though heard legends of his angry days. He was the first grandparent I lost and the first time I had to learn what it was like to lose someone close to you.
A house needs a grandma in it. ~Louisa May Alcott
So this is my last grandparent, and from her I learned to love food. I learned about history and the importance of faith, and I learned how to be tough as nails when needed.
And now we wait …
As such is life.
Be blessed and in relationship,
Adam
Adam L. Stanley
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by Adam L Stanley | Oct 1, 2011 | Life, Technology
What say ye? How many of these online services do you use? Could you imagine a day, a week, a year without ever actually leaving your home? As this Infographic shows, it might just be possible given everything you “need” is now available online. Would love to hear your thoughts!
Created by: College At Home
by Adam L Stanley | Sep 11, 2011 | Life
911: Never Forget
September 11, 2001, Morning
While I still maintained residence in Chicago, I worked in New York from late in 2000 until around 2004, a consultant with Deloitte Consulting working mainly in lower Manhattan and occasionally with the private wealth institutions in midtown. My “home” ranged from the Hilton and Starwood brand hotels (I was a points junky as many consultants were) to the Righa Royal in midtown to a great studio apartment in Union Square. For several weeks, I stayed at the Millenium Hilton directly across the street from the World Trade Center. When my dad came to visit me in New York in August 2001, this is where I was staying.
But on Sept 11, 2001 my home was the Embassy Suites Hotel of World Financial Center and my office right off of the intersection of John Street at One Seaport Plaza. My route to work every day was a brisk 10 – 15 minute walk across the pedestrian bridge that linked World Financial to WTC, through the World Trade Center and down John Street. On that particular day, I was tired and perhaps a bit lazy. And I was a bit later than normal. So, I chose to take a taxi that day. Taxi drivers HATE that. Traffic is crap and the trip is so short its basically a headache for them.
I got to my office building at around 8:45 am. After going through security as usual, I got on the elevator.
- 8:46:30 Flight 11 crashes at roughly 466 mph (790km/h or 219m/s or 425 knots) into the north face of the North Tower (1 WTC) of the World Trade Center, between floors 93 and 99. The aircraft enters the tower mostly intact.
The plane obviously hit the tower while I was on the elevator. I did not feel anything or hear anything on the elevator but when I got to the cafeteria of the building, there was commotion and dozens of people gathered near the windows. I joined them and looked out of the large windows as there was clearly a fire in the North Tower.
From the cafeteria, several people stood at the cafeteria window looking out at the WTC North Tower as it burned. There had been boiler fires recently and downtown Manhattan buildings often had little fires. We all just thought it looked pretty bad but we all still thought it was just a fire. We were all surprised but you know, New Yorkers! As investment bankers and New Yorkers, most people surrounding me were used to excitement. Lots of swagger. Lots of attitude. “Dude, that looks pretty fucked up”,”What the f*&k? Some engineer is about to get fired”, “Damn cleaning lady left her cigarette in the storage closet again.” We all thought it was a boiler. Maybe an electrical fire or some cleaning crew smoking in a room of combustible cleaning solvents. A FEW people speculated it was a small plane, apparently having heard of something like that happening before.
- 8:49:34: The first network television and radio reports of an explosion or incident at the World Trade Center. CNN breaks into a Ditech commercial at 8:49. The CNN screen subtitle first reads “World Trade Center disaster.”
I paid for my bagel with cream cheese and coffee and went to my office. When I got back to my office, my client, the Chief Financial Officer of the firm, was in his office and the news was on. I stood in his office for a while watching the scenes of the fire and listening to more speculation as to what was going on. After a few minutes, I went back to my desk to start my day. I called my partner back home and woke him up to have him turn on the news. He had already started getting calls from people who could not reach me on my mobile phone.
Then I felt a tremendous shake, heard a loud noise, and knew something had majorly gone wrong. Running into his office, I heard my client screaming “Those bastards. Those f*cking bastards.”
We were at war.
- 9:03:02: Flight 175 crashes at about 590 mph (950 km/h) into the south face of the South Tower (2 WTC) of the World Trade Center, banked between floors 77 and 85.[12] By this time, several media organizations, including the three major broadcast networks (who have interrupted their morning shows), are covering the first plane crash – millions see the impact live. Parts of the plane leave the building from its east and north sides, falling to the ground six blocks away.
I have never in my life felt as sick to my stomach as I did at that moment. Fear, anger, sadness, shock, disbelief; all kinds of emotions hitting all at once. My brains battling with my heart. Tears held back as anger welled up. Immediate questions of what was next and was the entire city under attack or worse. My client and I stood around with his assistant and others as we awaited information from our building. Part of the building began to evacuate immediately. There were multiple companies in the building and some had different instructions than others. I walked downstairs and looked out the front door. There was chaos and dust everywhere. People were walking by and looking up. Lots of security resources were yelling at people. But everything was conflicting. Some said stay inside while others said get outside.
- 9:37:46: Flight 77 crashes into the western side of the Pentagon and starts a violent fire
Immediately, everyone began to think the worst. WTC, the Pentagon, what was next? Chicago started evacuating the Sears Tower and other large buildings. Even buildings in Charlotte and Atlanta were evacuated. I changed my voicemail on my mobile (had to call using my desk phone) to let everyone know I was okay. Later I would feel bad that it took me this long when I found I had dozens of voicemails from worried friends and family.
Just blocks from what would later be known as Ground Zero, everyone in our building that had not yet evacuated began to debate whether to stay or go. I decided that the likelihood of our building being a target was low (not really a famous building and far away enough from WTC that it could not be an accidental hit) and that the chaos outside looked more dangerous. I stayed inside and went back upstairs to my office. Minutes later I would be thanking God for my decision.
- 9:59:04: The South Tower of the World Trade Center begins to collapse, 56 minutes and 2 seconds after the impact of Flight 175. Its destruction is viewed and heard by a vast television and radio audience. As the roar of the collapse goes silent, tremendous gray-white clouds of pulverized concrete and gypsum rush through the streets.
September 11, 2001
This picture has become quite famous and reminds me of the second time that day God gave me the right decision for some reason. These people were running down my street, the same street I walked every morning from WTC to my office. They were running from the plumes of smoke and debris that rapidly overtook lower Manhattan and quickly made its way to my office building. People who had left our building were either already over the Brooklyn Bridge or standing nearby watching. Those standing by watching ended up covered with dust and debris, and exposed to awful things flying down the street.
After the first building collapsed, we stayed in the office. We continued to watch the news in horror as we saw repeated over and over the images of the building we saw everyday collapse in a cloud of smoke. Then we watched in horror as the second tower collapsed.
- 10:28:25: The North Tower of the World Trade Center begins to collapse. The Marriott Hotel, located at the base of the two towers, is also destroyed. The second collapse is also viewed live on television and heard on radio.
About a half-hour after the second tower collapsed, our building began to completely evacuate and my client and I joined others in helping get people out of the building. To this day, I have so much respect for this particular CFO who was one of the last people out of the building, waiting until he was certain that everyone from the firm was getting out and heading away from lower Manhattan. I was a new Manager and he was CFO of a large Securities firm. But on that day, everyone was an equal. And we were equally shocked, equally saddened, and angry. So angry.
As I left the building, I saw shoes, purses, briefcases, dust and building particles, and TONS of paper everywhere. There was a strong burning smell all around me and the dust burned your eyes. There was relative quiet by this point, despite there being thousands of people outside. Everyone was in shock. There was crying and anger but mostly there were looks of disbelief. I think I was personally more surprised by the buildings falling down than by the attacks themselves.
I walked down the street to the Brooklyn Bridge and started the walk so many took on that day. Trying desperately not to look back on the chaos that was lower Manhattan or the gaping hole in the skyline that was now filled only with smoke, I trudged along with hundreds of others, strangers united for once if never before. All races, genders, ages, and sizes. Suits and sweats. Children with school uniforms on. All walking away from a nightmare but not really sure whether the nightmare would be over when we got to the other side.
As I walked, I thought about three things:
- What would have happened if I walked as normal? Where would I have been when the first plane hit? The second plane?
- How many people are now dead and how many will never be found? How much more of this death and destruction would I have seen had I walked outside of my building before the collapse of the first tower?
- What do I do when I get over this bridge? I knew NOT A SOUL in Brooklyn.
I felt alone, scared, and … Yes, pissed.
And I will move on, but I will never forget.
In peace comes strength,
Adam
Here are the archives of news coverage from the day.
Related Posts:
Remembering 9/11 – 15 years later (2016)
Remembering 9/11/01 – My Morning in Lower Manhattan (2011)
Remembering the kindness of strangers – September 11 (2014)
Retracing My Steps (2017)
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But on Sept 11, 2001 my home was the Embassy Suites Hotel of World Financial Center and my office right off of the intersection of John Street at One Seaport Plaza. My route to work every day was a brisk 10 – 15 minute walk across the pedestrian bridge that linked World Financial to WTC, through the World Trade Center and down John Street. On that particular day, I was tired and perhaps a bit lazy. And I was a bit later than normal. So, I chose to take a taxi that day. Taxi drivers HATE that. Traffic is crap and the trip is so short its basically a headache for them.