There’s a familiar feeling many of us know well—the one where you’re always stepping up to help others. You pass on names to recruiters, write letters of recommendation, coach, mentor, promote, and share opportunities. You introduce people to contacts, support their projects, celebrate their wins, or simply listen when they need advice. Not because you expect anything in return, but because that’s who you are.
But let’s be real. Sometimes it can feel heavy.
It’s draining when you’re always giving, yet rarely on the receiving end of support. You may pour your energy into lifting others, and in your own moments of need—whether it’s building a business, starting a family, or navigating a life change—you hear silence. The people you’ve supported don’t always show up in return or even check in to see how you’re doing.
It’s not about wanting recognition, but it’s natural to hope for reciprocity. And when it doesn’t come, it can sting. This is for you. You may feel selfish even thinking about it, but the feeling is real, and you’re not alone in experiencing it.
This reminds me of The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann, which emphasizes that true success comes not from what you get, but from how much you give. It also connects to the ideas in Give and Take by Adam Grant, which highlights how being a giver can lead to long-term success, though it can sometimes feel like those who “take” may get ahead in the short term. Givers often give without expectation, but even the most generous among us can feel drained if the balance is too one-sided.
Still, I’ve learned that there are so many ways to show love and support that don’t cost anything. Someone recently followed me on LinkedIn after hearing me speak about a blog post. They said they expected my LinkedIn to be like those “gurus” who post constantly about their achievements, speeches, and research. Instead, they found that the majority of my posts were simply cheering others on. Sharing their work. Celebrating their successes.
Because even if I can’t help someone get a job or buy their product, I can still share their joy. I can expose them to my network. I can try to lift them up in ways that only require my time and belief in them.
For me, an example of others lifting me up is how people have shared my business and my property listings with their own networks. This generosity helps keep my business thriving, which in turn allows me to continue giving back in ways that matter most to me. My husband and I started Adam Timothy Group as a way to combine our past experiences while helping others—especially those who thought homeownership was out of reach. Through this business, we work with investors and homeowners, from first-time buyers to experienced ones, across Austin and the country. And as part of our commitment to giving back, we offer commission rebates to teachers, nurses, first responders, and veterans.
For those of you who often find yourselves on the receiving end of this kind of support, take a moment to reflect. Are you lifting others up in return? It doesn’t have to be grand or time-consuming, but even the smallest acts of encouragement or celebration can make a world of difference to someone else. Whether it’s sharing a post, offering a kind word, or connecting someone to an opportunity, we all have the ability to give back in meaningful ways.
To the givers—those of us who keep lifting others up, even when it feels like no one’s doing the same for us—don’t lose heart. Keep doing what you do best. The Go-Giver and Give and Take remind us that giving for the sake of giving is its own reward. And along the way, make sure you have your own circle—a place where people will cheer you on, celebrate you, and offer their support. Because love and support come in many forms, and you deserve them as much as anyone else.
If you’re already lifting others up, thank you for being part of that circle.
Be well. Lead on.
Adam
